the many states of emma
i feel various ages at different times. this seems to extend to how i communicate, behave and act as well. sometimes i feel as though i am a child, while all the adults are up in my brain. i feel small, like physically small sometimes. i communicate in very short, small sentences. an example of this might be "why broken?" if something isn't working on the computer, and usually, i won't have the solution
i sometimes feel like a teenager. think the creative free spirit, alone in her room where she makes magic. stars and moons hang from her curtain rods, plushies adorn her desk and bed. she's alone dancing to sugarcube by yo la tengo. she's in her world and happy to spend time there forever if she could
and the time comes to be an adult. to communicate clearly, respectfully, as equals. this is typically any situation i view as something like my previous career. this usually means putting on a face, though not insincere. it is simply one made for a world i feel foreign in, but know is necessary to work within the scope of sometimes
there doesn't seem to be a mom, nor a grandma emma. but there do seem to be these three states. perhaps it is due to my age. perhaps i can be someone's cat's cool grandma. one day i'd like to be a mom for a plant. perhaps there are more states of emma yet to be seen
so it goes